There are some things about my job that I just don't think I will ever get used to. I have learned to handle and tolerate being the "mean person" in conduct situations. I feel that am able to handle those situations well because I see the educational value of those situations for the students involved.

I have also enjoyed thus far working with my students parents. Up until this point, I have been able to really help them trust me and believe that I too want what is best for their student. I enjoy when my students' parents learn to have confidence in my job and the educational process that surrounds it.

Today however, I had a very simple and common roommate problem that blew up. The situation itself didn't blow up, but rather the student and mother simply refused to trust myself and my staff to handle the situation as we are accustomed to do. I had spoken earlier this week to the mother and thought I had convinced her to encourage her daughter to trust me and my staff and go with our suggestions of how to handle it. I was, and still am, 99.9% confident that if she allowed us to do a roommate contract any awkwardness between the two students would be resolved.

Today the student's mother proceeded to tear into me accusing me of being biased and purposefully punishing her daughter because of her religious beliefs and values.

Seriously.

She said that.

I was blown away, outraged, frustrated and discouraged all at the same time. Clearly this women doesn't know me. We've never met, and I've never been rude to her. But, she feels the need to judge my character based on my refusal to simply cave to her request to allow her daughter to run away from the roommate situation. While I know that parents are required to be advocates for their children, where does accusing roommates and hall directors unfairly relate to that? Some of the things the mother would say about her daughters roommate were so unfair and judgmental and I refuse to allow any of my students to be treated unfairly by anyone.

While I've had classmates and professors question my character multiple times in the last year, I have yet to have someone make such a snap judgment like this. I really don't think there will ever be a time where conspicuous or inconspicuous attempts at questioning my character will not truly bother me.

Chickering and Reisser's Establishing Identity vector talks about learning to accept feedback from valued and respected others rather than any Joe Shmo. While I think it's easier for me to only accept valued and respected feedback in some areas, I am rocked to the core when people I don't even know question my character.

I'm not sure it's a bad thing to be bothered by that. Being a women of noble character is something that is foundational to who I am, and what I do, so anytime that's questioned I should be bothered. Right?

I am sure that this is not the last time that someone will unfairly make assumptions about my character. I wonder, as I grow in professionalism and in personal ways, if that ever gets any easier.

Within the last year, such situations seem to be happening to me a lot. I'm learning how best to respond to them. I can't help but remember a conversation with a good friend this summer about being back at A&M and the things I was fearful about. Having that conversation in the back of my mind I am encouraged to respond to this situation differently than I did the ones last year. Last year I allowed myself to really question my character and the person I have been shaped into. While I accept that this sort of thing will always bother me, I know that there is a purpose behind this time. There is a purpose for me to be attacked, and somewhere down the line I may be made privy to why that occurred. Perhaps it is as simple as preparation for future helicopter parents. Who knows.

Sorry about the cathartic nature of this entry. May you and it remind me, and yourself of the promise of purpose behind every experience. Even the crappy unfair ones.