Fight the Feeling

This is my cousin!! (Distant, but still, we're related).

He's awesome!

Grace for Today. . .

I am a big fan of the Grace For a Moment series of daily devotional thoughts from Max Lucado. This is what today's says:

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 nlt

How did Jesus endure the terror of the crucifixion? He went first to the Father with his fears. He modeled the words of Psalm 56:3.

Do the same with yours. Don't avoid life's Gardens of Gethsemane. Enter them. Just don't enter them alone. And while there, be honest. Pounding the ground is permitted. Tears are allowed. And if you sweat blood, you own't be the first. Do what Jesus did; open your heart.

And be specific. Jesus was. "Take this cup," he prayed. Give God the number of the flight. Tell him the length of the speech. share the details of the job transfer. He has plenty of time. He also has plenty of compassion.

He doesn't think your fears are foolish or silly. He won't tell you to "buck up" or "get tough."

He's been where you are. He knows how you feel.

And he knows what you need."
From Traveling Light by Max Lucado.

How I need to remember that in this phase of life!

PS

I'm secretly in love with Donald Miller (click here). Maybe I should move to Seattle when I graduate so I can meet him again. This time, it would need to not be with my library of his work in my hands for him to sign.

I'll save that for our second date, hate to scare him away too quickly.

I'm about 75% serious about this.

Remembering Undergrad. . .

I remember spring semester of my senior year at Belmont. Some of my friends would get really frustrated when people asked what they were doing after graduation because they didn't know. I never was flustered because I knew.

Fast-Forward Two Years:

I know what they must have felt like. It's really annoying when everyone asks you about your job search and where you are going to be. Usually these people are well intentioned. I feel an unusual burden to be completely honest and truthful. Which, is more hassle than it might be worth. Especially when the people asking, aren't really your friends, or that close to you. Friends, have this way of asking without coming right out and asking. I like that a lot. And, they reassure you that everything works out as it's supposed to rather than offering fake reassurance for what is the topic at the time. I don't like that much.

So, for those who are curious, the answers are:
1. No, I don't know what I'm doing when I graduate, where I'll be living, or when I'll start.
2. I have only applied for a couple of jobs, and am waiting for more to be posted.
3. I don't know when that will happen.
4. I don't think I'm being too picky.
5. All I know is that God is not calling me to live in a van down by the river, so I should end up with something.
6. If it's at Starbucks, I'm OK with that. I can minister to a lot of college students at the right Starbucks.
7. Again, I don't think I'm being too picky.
8. God gives us the desires of our hearts for a purpose. And will bring a good, perfect gift. That's Biblical. If I weren't really tired, I'd look it up for you. :)

I'm not bitter. Really. I'm excited to see where it is God is calling me to, even if it is a strategically placed Starbucks. As long as I can start paying on my student loans, I'm good.

Too funny. . .

I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop, "working" on cover letters. There is this serious math guy studying math stuff, and his phone just rang. His ringer is "Everybody Dance Now". I almost laughed out loud, but I figured that might be rude. So I posted on here for the world to know instead!

----------------
Now playing: Garth Brooks - A Friend To Me
via FoxyTunes

Job Search

This job search process has the potential to be frustrating. I don't think I'm high maintenance or asking too much. But, I'm really going to need more colleges to post jobs that excite me. Right now there's not much out there. I've applied for a few things, but I feel so far behind when my cohort members start talking about the multiple jobs they've applied for, or the interviews they have a NASPA. It makes me feel like I should feel a bit more desperate. (NASPA is in 17 days after all).

I refuse to allow desperation to enter my job search. Truth is- My job is already ordained, and there is no purpose for me stressing. Truthfully, this process is about trusting the Lord and His provision. He has provided for me in every other transition, why would this one be any different?

On an unrelated topic- I'm home in Kentucky for the weekend. I really felt like I needed to get out of town before the traveling chaos of the next several weeks started. I was able to get a cheep ticket on southwest to head home, and so here I am. Sitting in my favorite Louisville coffee shop, working on cover letters and job applications. After spending the afternoon watching UK basketball with my dad, grandfather and little brother. There's snow on the ground, and tornado damage scattered around. It's an odd mixture of things, since tornado damage is more often around in the spring, after the snow melts.

It's good to be home. I'm going to finish up this email and head back home for dinner.

.peace and love.

----------------
Now playing: Sara Evans - Niagara Falls
via FoxyTunes

So moving

My heart has been so touched by the story of this girl and her family. I pray that you might click here and learn more about them. Keep them in your prayers. God only knows how deep their heartache is!

God's Providence. . .

Sometimes comes in the form of the flu. Sadly, it takes that to get our attention sometimes. This semester is shaping up to be a busy one for me. Between finishing up responsibilities from last semester, preparing for presentations at conferences, job searching and finishing up here so that I can move somewhere else in May- there are a lot of things vying for my time. Last week, I started to notice cold and flu like symptoms coming. Knowing that I had a lot of commitments last week, and that I had the first of job interviews on Monday, I prayed that God would spare me from that. I certainly didn't have time for a cold.

God did spare me. Helped me to focus and be prepared for my interview, while faithfully checking off the to-do list. When the interview was finished, I noticed a sense of stress relief rush over my body. First, there were tears. Then, the next morning- The Flu!

That's right, the flu. All of it- temperature anywhere from 99.9-102.8, headaches, body aches (including my hair and skin), cough, sneezing, loss of appetite and energy. You name the flu symptom, I have it. (Seriously, according to WebMd.com, I have them all).

Since Tuesday morning, I've been in bed, sleeping, taking medicine, drinking apple juice and taking my temperature religiously. This has given me time to reflect on the meaning of my current circumstances. I, unbeknown to many, really get stressed out about things. I know things work out the way they are supposed to, but, I really worry about them in the mean time.

Take this job interview for example. I know the university and the job, I've studied them backwards and forwards, I know the material for my presentation by heart, my suit was pressed and dry cleaned, my shoes had just been repaired- all was ready. I was ready. But, the night before, I let myself get so stressed out, that I was nearly sick to my stomach.

I get so stressed, and I keep it all in. And then the flu happens. Or a migraine. Or something along those lines. All outward signs of inward stress. I've known this for a while, but I really had a revelation when the tears came on the drive back.

I cannot make it through the next 91 days without allowing myself to express some of that stress to others. I have had people who have expressed the desire to supportive of me during this time, and I really need to allow them to be. While some of those individuals say that and will never actually follow through with their promise, others would, if I would let them.

So here is my pledge, that I will be honest about my stress when appropriate and learn to lean on God and others, rather than just myself.

But for now, I've been sitting upright for about 2 hours (which is the longest since Monday). So now it's time for medicine and sleep. Pray that I feel much better tomorrow. We have new RA interviews from 3:45-9:15 tomorrow evening and Group Process from 8-5. I couldn't go to homecoming because I had to be here for this, so I'd be sad if I missed work because I was sick and still didn't get to go to homecoming. (But, Go Bruins!!)