God's Providence. . .

Sometimes comes in the form of the flu. Sadly, it takes that to get our attention sometimes. This semester is shaping up to be a busy one for me. Between finishing up responsibilities from last semester, preparing for presentations at conferences, job searching and finishing up here so that I can move somewhere else in May- there are a lot of things vying for my time. Last week, I started to notice cold and flu like symptoms coming. Knowing that I had a lot of commitments last week, and that I had the first of job interviews on Monday, I prayed that God would spare me from that. I certainly didn't have time for a cold.

God did spare me. Helped me to focus and be prepared for my interview, while faithfully checking off the to-do list. When the interview was finished, I noticed a sense of stress relief rush over my body. First, there were tears. Then, the next morning- The Flu!

That's right, the flu. All of it- temperature anywhere from 99.9-102.8, headaches, body aches (including my hair and skin), cough, sneezing, loss of appetite and energy. You name the flu symptom, I have it. (Seriously, according to WebMd.com, I have them all).

Since Tuesday morning, I've been in bed, sleeping, taking medicine, drinking apple juice and taking my temperature religiously. This has given me time to reflect on the meaning of my current circumstances. I, unbeknown to many, really get stressed out about things. I know things work out the way they are supposed to, but, I really worry about them in the mean time.

Take this job interview for example. I know the university and the job, I've studied them backwards and forwards, I know the material for my presentation by heart, my suit was pressed and dry cleaned, my shoes had just been repaired- all was ready. I was ready. But, the night before, I let myself get so stressed out, that I was nearly sick to my stomach.

I get so stressed, and I keep it all in. And then the flu happens. Or a migraine. Or something along those lines. All outward signs of inward stress. I've known this for a while, but I really had a revelation when the tears came on the drive back.

I cannot make it through the next 91 days without allowing myself to express some of that stress to others. I have had people who have expressed the desire to supportive of me during this time, and I really need to allow them to be. While some of those individuals say that and will never actually follow through with their promise, others would, if I would let them.

So here is my pledge, that I will be honest about my stress when appropriate and learn to lean on God and others, rather than just myself.

But for now, I've been sitting upright for about 2 hours (which is the longest since Monday). So now it's time for medicine and sleep. Pray that I feel much better tomorrow. We have new RA interviews from 3:45-9:15 tomorrow evening and Group Process from 8-5. I couldn't go to homecoming because I had to be here for this, so I'd be sad if I missed work because I was sick and still didn't get to go to homecoming. (But, Go Bruins!!)