Happy Christmas!

It won't be long and I'll be back in The South for the rest of the year. I've got mostly fun events between now and Sunday when I leave to go home. Here's the run down:

-Tonight my friend Jason and I are going to see "American Gangster". Also, I had dinner at a Hibachi grill with my practicum office staff.

-Tomorrow I have coffee with my friend Laura, lunch with my friend Peyton, and the Staff Council Banquet tomorrow night. In between I've got several AEW follow-up meetings and various other closing responsibilities.

-Friday evening I have two desert and wine socials. During the day I need to do some closing reports, start packing and doing laundry. (I just can't drive my dirty laundry 16+hours. Seems immoral.) Also, at some point I have to turn in my portfolio from this semester's practicum.

-Saturday will be spent doing my RA's closing walk-throughs, finishing my laundry/packing and my closing to do list.

-Sunday will be church, collecting my RA keys, finishing any closing things I didn't do Friday/Saturday. Sunday afternoon I check out with my supervisor. Then it's on the road.

In case your interested in what my driving route will look like here's a map, courtesy of Google:


View Larger Map
View Larger Map

A.- Is the starting location here in BCS. I'll drive through Waco to Dallas and on to Texarkana. I'm hoping to stop in Dallas and visit my friend Becky for a bit. That's still TBA. Requests for stops in Waco could also be accommodated.

B.- Is Texarkana, where I'll stop and spend the night at my usual hotel. My dad and I stopped at that particular hotel on our move to Texas. They had GREAT breakfast, which is why I always stop there. The last time I stopped by myself, it was so-so. Hopefully Monday A.M. it will be back to great condition.

C.- Is my favorite chicken place- McDougals in Hillsboro Village in Nashville. I will stop here and have chicken and beer with my friend Kristine. Hopefully I will also have coffee or ice cream with Holly. Then it's back on the road for three more hours.

D. Is my parent's home in Shelbyville. Sadly this will be the last time I'll be "home" until after I have graduated. Which, means that part of my three-ish weeks at home will be spent packing up my room. Who knows where I'm moving to in May. It may be easier for Mom and Dad to bring my stuff from KY here when they come for graduation for me to move to wherever. Therefore, it needs to be ready for them. Just in case.

Over the break I plan to:
-Read. A lot.
-Knit and/or crochet a lot
-Visit family and friends. Particularly some of my older neighbors
-Pack
-Prepare my presentations for RA training, SWACUHO and my poster presentation for SWACUHO
-Do some post Christmas shopping. Maybe in Nashville out the outlets?
-Sleep. In my bed. A lot.
-Watch football and basketball games with my dad and my grandpa. Probably eat frozen pizza with them at the same time.
-Hopefully see my nieces and nephews at Christmas
-Take my Mac to the shop to see why the battery doesn't like to stay charged.
-Make a paper-chain countdown of class days left. For my enjoyment and my cohort members.
-Go to the dentist.
-Finish my parent's Christmas shopping- more likely than not on the 22-24th. (By this I mean my mom will give me cash and/or her debit card and a shopping list of the left over needs for my cousins, nieces, nephew, and probably my brother's girlfriend this year. Dad will hand me some cash and/or his debit card with his list for my Mom's Christmas list. He will do this in front of her, but she will not notice. Mom's like that. (Kinda like me.) I will then drive all over Louisville trying to find what they needs. What they need will no doubt have been readily available up until the 21st, at which point they all vanish overnight. I will get laughed at by the sales people often. I will be told, "If you want something like that you really should shop earlier". Case in point- The Wii they got for my brother (AKA he got an envelope with the cash to buy it when they reappeared on the store shelves). . . and Dad's gift to mom- an electric picture frame. Which, he found in the first store he walked in on 12/24 last year, after I drove to every single electronics store, Target and Wal-Mart in Jefferson and Shelby counties. Seriously, every single one.) Really. I'm not bitter. I drink my Starbucks No-Fat, No-Whip Peppermint Mocha, listen to my ipod in the car, and am cheerful to the mean people at the stores. I accept it as my role as the middle child, only daughter, missionary, and saint. It's fun.

Wow, hope you enjoyed that tangent as much as I did. Ha ha.

That's all I can think of. :) It's been a good week, and I am so excited to see how life changes in the first half of next year. There is so much excitement and potential! :)

By the way- Keep praying for Ukraine. Still on the fence.

.peace and love.

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Now playing: *NSYNC - Home for Christmas
via FoxyTunes

Weighted. . .

. . .is certainly how I feel. I have had several different things on my mind in the last several days. I have wanted to write about them, but I have not been able to figure out where to start. Do I start with what is most pressing, or what requires most support from others? So, we'll see how this goes.

(Sculpture is "The Weight" by T.J. Hogan).

I am praying about going on a mission trip in May. I have the opportunity to go to Ukraine in the latter portion of May to work with a computer center and English Camps. (Read about Ukraine here). In college I was on the leadership team for a traveling worship choir. We were praying very intensely about where we should take our yearly tour and the Ukraine was heavy upon our hearts for that year. When it came down to deciding, we felt leading to go another direction, and ultimately we did not go to Ukraine. Missions in this country have never left my heart or mind, even though I have never been there.

Last week I was presented with the potential opportunity to be a part of a mission team to go in May. The timing of the trip could not be better- it's the last two weeks in May. This would be after I graduate and finish my assistantship, and before any potential new job would begin (most will start June 1 or July 1).

This would be growth experience for me, which I think is part of the reason I am apprehensive. First, it costs around $2500. I have never had to raise money for something like this, and am not sure my family would understand the need to. I worry that if I went, the money wouldn't come through. Which is certainly a lack of faith and not a good reason to decide not to go on a mission trip. Secondly, It would be a long plane ride and I can barely handle the 3 hour ride back to Kentucky. Planes scare me!

If I go on this trip, I know that it would mean the Power of God living and moving and doing "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20). That is terrifying, and exciting all at once! I am a doer and a striver, this would be outside of my abilities to do so.

During church today, I couldn't get Ukraine out of my head and started to think of things I could do to earn the money to go. I even mentally calculated how much I could save if I donated plasma every week and put the money in my money market account. In the midst of calculating interest percentages, God spoke to me and said, "It's not about you earning the money and working for it. It's about you trusting that if I want you there, I'll get you there".

And that, friends, is the root of my inner struggle. I have trust issues, and I am not sure that I am strong enough to trust God enough for this. In writing that I realize how utterly ridiculous that thought is. I am not strong enough. But it is not because of strength that we trust God. It is because of our weakness that we trust. Because in those times we are able to see so clearly our need for God.

"David also said to Solomon his son, 'Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.'" -1 Chronicles 28:20

As if that weren't enough, we sang "In Christ Alone" today at church. The lyrics of that song were one of the ways that God broke through my heart this summer. It was not that I had stopped believing, but that I was not trusting Him as I needed to be. One beautiful summer night, this song was played at the Line Camp worship service. The lyrics brought tears to my eyes this morning like they did that night:

In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all— Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh, Fullness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness, Scorned by the ones He came to save. Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied; For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain; Then bursting forth in glorious day, Up from the grave He rose again! And as He stands in victory, Sin's curse has lost its grip on me; For I am His and He is mine— Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death— This is the pow'r of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home— Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

With that on my mind, I am weighed down with the decision to go or not. Perhaps this trip is the way that God will break the next layer of my heart and lead me to a place of deeper trust and faith. I ask that you would join me in prayer for this decision. I am claiming Romans 8:26 for this time,

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."