One other thing. . .

201 days until I have an off-campus apartment somewhere other than College Station with a dog and a bed with a headboard.

Maybe the apartment will be located in a city that has real trees that change colors in the fall. . .

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Now playing: Carrie Underwood - So Small
via FoxyTunes

Perspective

All the work I have to do this weekend (and this week because I have not been productive) means that by Friday I will be heading to Dallas and will be more than halfway finished with my law class. Halfway finished with law forever. Sweet.

Gotta keep truckin'

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Now playing: Keith Urban - Stupid Boy
via FoxyTunes

The Summary of My Life

Can be contained within one paper. Not so much within the paper itself, or the article it was based off of, but the blonde moment surrounding it. Last Thursday we had a quantitative article critique due in my assessment class. The assignment was to find an article, and critique it. I printed the article way ahead of time, and the paper was a short 2-3 pager. I turned it in, no sweat. My assessment professor's office is next door to my practicum office. Today I walk to work, and there on my door is a bright pink post-it that says:

"Sarah,

Come see me when you get a chance.

Darby"

I get really nervous when people write vague things like that, largely because I am scared to death I'm going to screw something up. I sit in my office waiting for her to come. 45 minutes later she gets back from lunch.

I nervously ask, "What did I do wrong?" . . .

Her: "Well . . .(pause) nothing"

Me: "Does my paper stink? It does doesn't it?"

Her: "Well I don't know because I haven't read your paper. . . .
(pause)"

Me: "oh"

Come to find out I had not read the assignment very clearly. The article was supposed to be from one of two journals. And I, unlike any other one of my 11 classmates, totally missed that. Even though, it was highlighted on my syllabus.

I felt like the biggest idiot. I was assured, at least one person does it every year. I am that one person. That really stinks for a OCD-perfectionist like myself. So, after apologizing profusely, she agrees to allow me re-write it. I am simultaneously relieved and stressed. I have basically less than 24 hours to re-write the paper and submit it before class tomorrow. If something horrible happens and I can't get it finished (i.e crisis in my hall) I get until Friday at 12. This is good because I don't have time to have this hanging over my head this weekend.

So, on the night I reserved for knocking out my law case study due Tuesday. I'm re-writing a paper that I finished over a week ago. I feel like a really competent grad student. (insert sarcastic look)

Here's why this stresses me out- my to-do list for next week:

• Law case study (10-12 pages) due Tuesday
• Law reading and Major Concept (we have a guest teacher. . . one of our Associate VPs, needless to say I need to know my shiznet)
• Revised Resume and Cover letter Due Wednesday
• Online Practicum class discussion Wednesday
• Reading and Major Concepts for Assessment due Thursday
• Leave Friday night for Dallas for a conference through the 30th. Which means: my Law Research Project (10-12 pages on freedom of expression and faculty/staff spirituality) that is due on the 30th, must be turned in by next Friday along with the accompanying major concept from that day's reading.
• Oh yeah, and National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week is next week. I'm on the planning committee so every day I have activities that I have to be at for that.
• Two days after I get back from the conference, one of my assessment projects is due. Luckily I basically finished that one on the plane ride back from KY. I need to proof read it and make sure I fully read the instructions.

So. . . needless to say, I'm buried in school work this weekend. Which is sad. But, I'm also on call for Res life which means I need to stick close to campus anyway. I would like to have all the assignments finished by Sunday night. I am going to work very hard to make it happen.

I also need to fit in donating plasma, getting my hair cut, and calling a couple of my favorite Belmont people to make sure they know I'm going to be in Dallas. I certainly don't want any of this school work hanging over my head since I want to be free to visit with my friends! There are so many folks I'm going to want to catch up with while I'm there. For me, NODAC is the light at the end of my tunnel. . . never thought I'd say that about a professional conference.

On a positive school note- I actually used my Law today, and knew what I was talking about! My brother is having some issues with one of his professors allowing him to make up work from when he was unconscious in ICU. She refuses to allow him to make up a speech he was supposed to give, told him she should have e-mailed her and suggested he drop the course. I remind you, he was unconscious in ICU at the time. How he would have e-mailed her, I'm not sure! Anyway, I explained to my mom that his medical condition is covered under ADA and that if he goes through the appropriate disabilities office she can't legally deny him reasonable accommodations. It was pretty neat.

Anyway, other than school, life has been good. I have 14 conduct cases scheduled for this week, but I'm actually starting to enjoy that process. 5 of them were guys who are involved in pranks with trash cans in my building. I loved assigning them community service of taking the trash out for the custodial staff every morning at 7 a.m. :) Hopefully they'll learn something from it!

Well, for me it's back to more case law. Once I finish printing off my articles for the case study, I need to do my assessment paper. Wish me luck. Say a few prayers. Feel free to distract ;)

Home

Richard went home from the hospital today. He's staying at home with my parents for a few more days and then he'll go back to his apartment in Lexington. The doctor said that he shouldn't go back to work or school until the 15th. That worked out well for school since he's on fall break this week. As far as driving, he can't do anything for three months. He's having some pretty bad headaches right now, which could be resulting from the stress of being in the hospital, the toll the seizures took on his brain and his giant fall from bed. All things considered, he is doing well. Hopefully he'll learn to make taking his anti-seizure medicine a priority in his life and that perhaps the reason he didn't have seizures (before this one) was because he was on his medicine! If you are so inclined, please continue to pray for Richard that he would remember to take his medicine and go to his doctor appointments like he's supposed to!

Thank you for your prayers. I'm grateful that he's doing well, and my mother seems less stressed than last time. I personally felt the weight of prayers yesterday. I was able to focus on my law case study (due tomorrow) and get it finished last night before 9. Thank you for responding to my request for prayer, it means a lot!

Update

They moved Richard out of ICU today into a normal room, and think he might get to go home tomorrow. His face is pretty beat up from his fall out of bed on Thursday night, but he's also having a lot of shoulder pain. He is suffering some memory loss related to the seizure, but no one things it'll be permanent. They think that he hasn't been taking his medication appropriately all the time and that is why he's having these issues.

Thank you for your continued prayers. It looks like he should be out and able to make it to his next shift at work on Tuesday. Granted, he can't drive himself there. He'll be stuck on the mercy of others for several months as though who have seizures are legally banned from driving for a certain period of time. Last time it was about 3-4 months. I think they usually recommend 6. The doctor hasn't talked about that with him yet. I'm sure he's curious. :)

My Brother

Many of you know that in May of 2006 my younger brother, Richard (now 21, 19 at the time), had a serious infection that resulted in three critical brain surgeries including the removal and replacement of a section of his forehead. He spent about 2.5 weeks in ICU and had lots of follow up medical stuff including visits from a home health nurse multiple times a week all summer and a Pic-Line in his heart with antibiotics for two months. Additionally, in February he had several seizures that put him back in the hospital for a few days and resulted in a life time prescription for anti-seizure medication.

I just spoke to my mom, and she told me that my brother had another pretty bad seizure on Thursday night and is currently hospitalized in Lexington, KY. My parents are currently driving from the old hospital in Louisville with his medical records to the one in Lexington so that they can compare MRIs in the hope that they would be able to figure out what's going on. According to my mom, he's pretty out of it. He's also fighting the doctors and nurses with treatments (which is normal, he's pretty feisty and did that back in May, a lot.) His girlfriend is there holding his hand, which I think my mom might be having a harder time with than his illness (not really, but she doesn't think it's very funny to joke about. I like to joke about it, because I'm his big sister and it's my job.)

I ask that you would pray for his healing. That the doctors would figure out what is going on, and why these seizures continue to happen. Pray that my brother would quit fighting it so much and trust the doctors, that he would take his medicine as he's supposed to. Pray for my parents, especially my mom, that they would trust God's hand in this. Pray that this wouldn't put my brother any further behind in college than he already is, or effect his grades or memory of what he's learned this semester. (When he was first hospitalized in May of 2006, he ended up having to drop all the classes he had taken at UofL that semester because he couldn't remember it to complete them. That process took about 7 months though, and they put him through the ringer along the way.) Pray that LCC/UK will be much better at working with his medical condition and making up his course work than UofL was. Pray that he wouldn't feel defeated as a result of this set back, and that he would continue to live life as normal once he's better and that he'll stay in school. Also, pray that both my parent's employers would be understanding of their need to be away from work, and not penalize them for this (They were great in May, providing food vouchers for the hospital cafeteria among other things, so there is no need to worry. But you always worry because you never know). Selfishly, I ask that you would pray for me in this too. My role within my family has always been to be the strong one holding things together in times like this and it kills me that I can't be there. Pray that I would have peace and be able to focus on my life here, which doesn't stop because my brother is sick.

Blessings

It's Friday night and I'm spending it working on homework as usual. I've got a law case study due Tuesday and a Qualitative Analysis due on Thursday. I've *started* each but haven't actually begun writing. I am hoping to do that tonight.

Last night, the world seemed so dramatic and dismal. I think that may have been due to my lack of sleep the night before. I got the meningitis shot on Wednesday- by bedtime my arm hurt so badly that every time I rolled over I woke up. I did not sleep well, and found myself tired, cranky and overly dramatic all day. But, after going to bed last night at 9 p.m., today the world seems so much brighter!

Tonight I had dinner with a new friend. She was introduced to me by the registrar at Baylor, and she is currently a Ph.D student at A&M. We met for dinner at Blue Baker and talked for over 2 hours. I can tell that her friendship is going to be such a blessing to me this semester. It's so nice to find some of "my people" here. There is so much to be said for connecting on a spiritual level with someone.

So, as I prepare to write a case study that I have no idea how to begin, I find myself reflecting on my current life. While I would still say I am excited to be finished up here in 216 days (It's almost to less than 200!!!!), I rest in the knowledge that my life is not that bad. I really know what I'm doing with my job, and though there is always work left at the end of the day, I believe that I do it well. My school work is going well (I got a 96 on our Assessment Test), and I feel confident about my pending job search.

I have been truly blessed. I'm so glad I have the perspective to see that now.

I'm a winner!

I use a google powered search engine called "Blingo". It is google, but with the added bonus that every time you search you might win a prize.

Today I did! I won a $5 amazon gift card. They give everything from that to phones and ipods!

Not only did I win, but the friend who referred me won the same thing (because she referred me).

If you use google often (as I do), you should go to blingo.com instead. You could also "register" through this link and if you win anything, I would get it to.

I'm really excited about my Amazon gift card. :) It's a good day!

Hope

I recently purchased a decorative plaque to hang on the wall that has a version Romans 5:3-5 on it. The theme is Hope. The plaque says:

Rejoice in our suffering,
Because suffering produces perseverance
Perseverance-Character
Character-HOPE

After hanging it on the wall, I realized it is an incomplete thought- it is missing "and hope does not disappointed us." While being surprised that I remembered the rest of the passage, I was struck by how often I leave that tag line off as well.

I think I get so caught up in the idea of God's will versus my own that I forget I'm expected to be hopeful. What I mean by that is I am so sure that what I want and am hopeful for is probably not what's in God's will for me that I am afraid to ask.

The rest of the verse says "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 3:5). This tells me that if my heart is hoping for something, and I am truly seeking God with my life, it is put there by His love and the Holy Spirit. Wow.

I am so often fearful of the disappointment, that I often forget or even refuse to hope. More often than not, I talk myself out of hope. What a sad state of life! It is not at all what I am called to! By stifling hope, which is built out of prayer and walking with the Lord, I am causing my own disappointment, but more importantly stifling the work of the Spirit! My false humility may actually be hindering God's glory in myself or others.

Currently, there are a couple of "situations" (I use that word only because I can't think of anything else to classify them as) where I have rejected hope. Last night, I truly prayed out of the heart asking the Lord for the things my heart was secretly hoping for inside. I have not felt that peace and confidence in what I hope for in a long time. I felt it last night. I don't know if God will answer them as I would like (I am learning to hope that He will), but perhaps they are there so I learn to be hopeful.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings becuase we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:3-5

Off to a good start. . .

Welcome to October! October is one of my favorite months, largely because it begins the obvious change from summer to fall. While it's harder to recognize the differing seasons here, in my mind it is preparation time. I love fall. The bright colors, distinct biting chill, and the promise of impending death and life. So beautiful, and poetic! I know that fall has usually marked times of struggle and death in my own life, that always have a time of new life at some point. I am excited to see the results of this fall in my life.

Both the week and the month were welcomed in by a great Monday. I woke up on time today with the hope of getting my laundry and shower in before starting my office hours at 8:30. Both things were accomplished with ease. My RA one on ones today went very well and we had great conversations about both work and life. The RA class that I co-teach was canceled by the other teacher, as was my 1:30 meeting. Therefore, I spent 8:30-1:30 in the office and then had the rest of the afternoon off.

GLORIOUS.

I am not afraid to take advantage of an afternoon off. So, today I went shopping at the Kohls that just opened yesterday. I found a few great purchases (including two pair of great pumps that will be perfect with the suits I have). I was hoping to find my more options of shirts to wear under my suits, but I didn't find much. I did find some great ones for going out or the office, depending on the pants they are worn with. Oh what a great day for shopping.

Now I'm sitting at my favorite BCS coffee shop with the hope of knocking out a lot of work that's due in the next couple of weeks. In addition to the usual major concepts for every chapter we read (aka busy work), I have my first law case due next week as well as a paper for assessment. Neither one will be difficult, it's just finding time to sit down and knock them out. Since I have nothing until my staff meeting tonight at 8:30, I'll probably be doing that soon.

Yesterday I had my first (and hopefully last) real evacuation of my building. We had a room that complained of smelling natural gas, so I got the chance to pull the fire alarm. After about 30 minutes the fire department determined that it was only sewer gas back-up from the cafeteria next to my hall. (DISGUSTING) I had two students who I caught leaving the building about 10 minutes after the alarm was pulled (a boy and girl, the boy was a non-resident visiting the girl). I decided not to write them up, since the hall director on call, David, and myself put the fear of God and fire alarms in them. I don't think either student will fail to evacuate a building again. Ha. ha. Other than that and yet another fire ant bite on my foot, nothing was too eventful.

This Saturday was the Baylor/A&M football game. Since I didn't have any visitors I was able to work the face painting table all morning which was so fun. I LOVE face painting. We typically purchase paints for the opposing team, and since this week was Baylor I took the opportunity to wear a Baylor t-shirt. That's what the photo is from.

While face painting i ran into my friends David and Erin who had an extra ticket to the game. So, when we were finished face painting I joined them in the student section for the first half of the game. I'll be honest, it was a rather boring game. Both teams really stunk. But it was great to go to another football game, and I now have a sunburn on my left arm to prove I went.

This weekend two of my favorite Belmont Alumni/Singer/songwriters are playing a show at Common Grounds in Waco. Andy Davis and Tyler James are going to be playing after the football game. I'm still up in the air about whether or not to go. I very much want to go, I LOVE both those guys, but I have a couple assignments due next week. I'll have to see how much I get accomplished in the next couple of days before deciding.

Today A&M is announcing that we have two confirmed cases of bacterial meningitis in the residence hall across from mine. Pray for those students and their families. Also, if you work with students, get your shots. :)