Presidental Nominees

I think that I will vote for this man because of how brilliant this ad is:



Also, I promise some Christmas Party Fun Pictures soon.

Merry Christams

Great news!!

If you are here to read my blog. . . great. But don't read my page today:

Read the great news here:

http://www.friendsofericvolz.com/updates.htm

:) I'm so thankful and praying for a safe and speedy release and trip back to Nashville for Christmas!

Almost. . .

24 hours from now I'll be 1/4 of the way home. It's been a really long last couple of days, and I have never been more excited for a break. Between 5 hour long power outages, canceled plans, food poisoning and other adventures. . I'm exhausted.

Also, I have the worst luck with cell phones. I have the same model phone as several other people I know. They drop it, keeps working, no problem. I drop it, the darn thing falls apart (ok, so it's not in pieces, but if I drop it again, it will be). Maybe I'm just that more thorough. Whatever. One more thing to make my week suck. :)

Bring on the road trip. :)

----------------
Now playing: John Michael Montgomery - Hold On To Me
via FoxyTunes

Happy Christmas!

It won't be long and I'll be back in The South for the rest of the year. I've got mostly fun events between now and Sunday when I leave to go home. Here's the run down:

-Tonight my friend Jason and I are going to see "American Gangster". Also, I had dinner at a Hibachi grill with my practicum office staff.

-Tomorrow I have coffee with my friend Laura, lunch with my friend Peyton, and the Staff Council Banquet tomorrow night. In between I've got several AEW follow-up meetings and various other closing responsibilities.

-Friday evening I have two desert and wine socials. During the day I need to do some closing reports, start packing and doing laundry. (I just can't drive my dirty laundry 16+hours. Seems immoral.) Also, at some point I have to turn in my portfolio from this semester's practicum.

-Saturday will be spent doing my RA's closing walk-throughs, finishing my laundry/packing and my closing to do list.

-Sunday will be church, collecting my RA keys, finishing any closing things I didn't do Friday/Saturday. Sunday afternoon I check out with my supervisor. Then it's on the road.

In case your interested in what my driving route will look like here's a map, courtesy of Google:


View Larger Map
View Larger Map

A.- Is the starting location here in BCS. I'll drive through Waco to Dallas and on to Texarkana. I'm hoping to stop in Dallas and visit my friend Becky for a bit. That's still TBA. Requests for stops in Waco could also be accommodated.

B.- Is Texarkana, where I'll stop and spend the night at my usual hotel. My dad and I stopped at that particular hotel on our move to Texas. They had GREAT breakfast, which is why I always stop there. The last time I stopped by myself, it was so-so. Hopefully Monday A.M. it will be back to great condition.

C.- Is my favorite chicken place- McDougals in Hillsboro Village in Nashville. I will stop here and have chicken and beer with my friend Kristine. Hopefully I will also have coffee or ice cream with Holly. Then it's back on the road for three more hours.

D. Is my parent's home in Shelbyville. Sadly this will be the last time I'll be "home" until after I have graduated. Which, means that part of my three-ish weeks at home will be spent packing up my room. Who knows where I'm moving to in May. It may be easier for Mom and Dad to bring my stuff from KY here when they come for graduation for me to move to wherever. Therefore, it needs to be ready for them. Just in case.

Over the break I plan to:
-Read. A lot.
-Knit and/or crochet a lot
-Visit family and friends. Particularly some of my older neighbors
-Pack
-Prepare my presentations for RA training, SWACUHO and my poster presentation for SWACUHO
-Do some post Christmas shopping. Maybe in Nashville out the outlets?
-Sleep. In my bed. A lot.
-Watch football and basketball games with my dad and my grandpa. Probably eat frozen pizza with them at the same time.
-Hopefully see my nieces and nephews at Christmas
-Take my Mac to the shop to see why the battery doesn't like to stay charged.
-Make a paper-chain countdown of class days left. For my enjoyment and my cohort members.
-Go to the dentist.
-Finish my parent's Christmas shopping- more likely than not on the 22-24th. (By this I mean my mom will give me cash and/or her debit card and a shopping list of the left over needs for my cousins, nieces, nephew, and probably my brother's girlfriend this year. Dad will hand me some cash and/or his debit card with his list for my Mom's Christmas list. He will do this in front of her, but she will not notice. Mom's like that. (Kinda like me.) I will then drive all over Louisville trying to find what they needs. What they need will no doubt have been readily available up until the 21st, at which point they all vanish overnight. I will get laughed at by the sales people often. I will be told, "If you want something like that you really should shop earlier". Case in point- The Wii they got for my brother (AKA he got an envelope with the cash to buy it when they reappeared on the store shelves). . . and Dad's gift to mom- an electric picture frame. Which, he found in the first store he walked in on 12/24 last year, after I drove to every single electronics store, Target and Wal-Mart in Jefferson and Shelby counties. Seriously, every single one.) Really. I'm not bitter. I drink my Starbucks No-Fat, No-Whip Peppermint Mocha, listen to my ipod in the car, and am cheerful to the mean people at the stores. I accept it as my role as the middle child, only daughter, missionary, and saint. It's fun.

Wow, hope you enjoyed that tangent as much as I did. Ha ha.

That's all I can think of. :) It's been a good week, and I am so excited to see how life changes in the first half of next year. There is so much excitement and potential! :)

By the way- Keep praying for Ukraine. Still on the fence.

.peace and love.

----------------
Now playing: *NSYNC - Home for Christmas
via FoxyTunes

Weighted. . .

. . .is certainly how I feel. I have had several different things on my mind in the last several days. I have wanted to write about them, but I have not been able to figure out where to start. Do I start with what is most pressing, or what requires most support from others? So, we'll see how this goes.

(Sculpture is "The Weight" by T.J. Hogan).

I am praying about going on a mission trip in May. I have the opportunity to go to Ukraine in the latter portion of May to work with a computer center and English Camps. (Read about Ukraine here). In college I was on the leadership team for a traveling worship choir. We were praying very intensely about where we should take our yearly tour and the Ukraine was heavy upon our hearts for that year. When it came down to deciding, we felt leading to go another direction, and ultimately we did not go to Ukraine. Missions in this country have never left my heart or mind, even though I have never been there.

Last week I was presented with the potential opportunity to be a part of a mission team to go in May. The timing of the trip could not be better- it's the last two weeks in May. This would be after I graduate and finish my assistantship, and before any potential new job would begin (most will start June 1 or July 1).

This would be growth experience for me, which I think is part of the reason I am apprehensive. First, it costs around $2500. I have never had to raise money for something like this, and am not sure my family would understand the need to. I worry that if I went, the money wouldn't come through. Which is certainly a lack of faith and not a good reason to decide not to go on a mission trip. Secondly, It would be a long plane ride and I can barely handle the 3 hour ride back to Kentucky. Planes scare me!

If I go on this trip, I know that it would mean the Power of God living and moving and doing "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20). That is terrifying, and exciting all at once! I am a doer and a striver, this would be outside of my abilities to do so.

During church today, I couldn't get Ukraine out of my head and started to think of things I could do to earn the money to go. I even mentally calculated how much I could save if I donated plasma every week and put the money in my money market account. In the midst of calculating interest percentages, God spoke to me and said, "It's not about you earning the money and working for it. It's about you trusting that if I want you there, I'll get you there".

And that, friends, is the root of my inner struggle. I have trust issues, and I am not sure that I am strong enough to trust God enough for this. In writing that I realize how utterly ridiculous that thought is. I am not strong enough. But it is not because of strength that we trust God. It is because of our weakness that we trust. Because in those times we are able to see so clearly our need for God.

"David also said to Solomon his son, 'Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.'" -1 Chronicles 28:20

As if that weren't enough, we sang "In Christ Alone" today at church. The lyrics of that song were one of the ways that God broke through my heart this summer. It was not that I had stopped believing, but that I was not trusting Him as I needed to be. One beautiful summer night, this song was played at the Line Camp worship service. The lyrics brought tears to my eyes this morning like they did that night:

In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all— Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh, Fullness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness, Scorned by the ones He came to save. Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied; For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain; Then bursting forth in glorious day, Up from the grave He rose again! And as He stands in victory, Sin's curse has lost its grip on me; For I am His and He is mine— Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death— This is the pow'r of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home— Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

With that on my mind, I am weighed down with the decision to go or not. Perhaps this trip is the way that God will break the next layer of my heart and lead me to a place of deeper trust and faith. I ask that you would join me in prayer for this decision. I am claiming Romans 8:26 for this time,

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

Relief

I'm finished! Today I turned in my journals about my practicum at Baylor. Then had my practicum class etiquette luncheon. Then, after a four course meal (which was GOOD) I am finished with my next to last semester!!

Now I just have to close my residence hall. I don't have a lot to do with that right now, so I'm really just hanging out until next weekend. Our residents must be out of their rooms by Thursday 12/13 at 5. If they need to stay until the weekend, they have to request an extended stay. All of those folks must be out by Saturday at 7 p.m. Then, my RA staff must check every single room and make sure they completed everything. Saturday night/Sunday morning I'll be checking them out which will mean walking through every single room with them. Then they are free to go on Sunday. After that, I check out with my supervisor around 4 p.m. on Sunday the 16th and then I am home free.

Literally. :)

I'm leaving on Sunday afternoon/evening for my drive home. I'm going to stop somewhere in the middle on Sunday and then continue the trek northeastward to the real south. I'm going to do dinner at my favorite chicken place- McDougals in Nashville with Kristine. Then I'll be home for Christmas!

I, in retrospect, cannot believe how quickly this semester has gone by. Also, the fact that when I graduate I'm going to have an actual job is starting to sink in. I'm excited about it, but at the same time, all I've ever known is school. I'm going to be a for-real adult- with rent, insurance, bills, and a 8/9-5ish job. Strange. But exciting!!

But, it's still 156 days until hooding. Between now and then there will be lots of interviews, a week in Boston, holiday parties and other important things. :)

I can't really think of a good way to end this. Sorry. It's pretty random as it is. So. Until next time- peace and love!

I'm so over with. . .

this school thing. this Town. Among other things. So, in light of procrastination, here are a few places I would rather be:

My Grandpa's Farm in KY with my family- All Pictured here.

My parents' house where cats do things like this. Please note- those cats are not related.



Hillsboro Village- Nuf Said.

This Chicken Place- Home of the Best Chicken Fingers. Ever. Hands Down. Plus, they have Woodchuck Cider on Tap.

This City- (Nashville)

This City (Dallas) and That Tower


This Town (Waco)

This quaint little country town (Independence, TX)

"Be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13.5

Guess I need to work on that.


----------------
Now playing: Rob Blackledge - Broadway
via FoxyTunes

Pachelbel Rant

This might be one of my favorite videos. :) Enjoy!

Graduate Assistants - Thriller Dance

I was just procrastinating on my law paper and thought I'd post this video. It's from Line Camp this summer. :) Awwww the memories!

Creative Jucies

My senior year at Belmont I took what turned into one of my all-time favorite classes. It was titled "Theology and the Arts" and was taught in tandem by an art professor and one of the newest religion faculty members. Our class was all about the inspiration and connection between and behind theology and the arts. Our class had the privilege to study an exhibit at Cheekwood Gardens titled 100 Artists See God where 100 artists created art work relating to their interpretation of God.

One of our assignments for this class was to do something creative in response to one of the pieces in the show. We could do anything creative- write a song, draw a picture, prose, poetry, etc. I chose to write a prose work related to Marnie Weber's The Little Girl God. While I was cleaning today I found the grade copy and my professor's comments.

While I was reading the prose piece, I felt like I was reading someone else's writing. I thought I'd share it and the artwork that inspired it. I hate to hide it in my filing cabinet.

A Prose Work Inspired by Marnie Weber's The Little Girl God (pictured at left)

The house seemed so cold this morning as I woke to face the day. And facing the day was truly what it was. The time of being a little girl, free from the struggles of life seemed like a distant dream- much like prince charming when I was playing with my Barbie dolls as a child. When you are five years old the world seems so big, beautiful and good and you can hardly contain yourself from the excitement of wanting to grow up and experience it all. It didn’t seem to take very long for that disillusionment to start to fade as elementary school kids can be so mean, of which I was defiantly the worst. Childhood begins the times of materialism because whoever had the newest Barbie doll on the playground was the coolest kid. Unless it was one of the poorer children- then we would try to steal their toys. Maybe my life now is simply a pay back for the awful ways I tormented others as a child.


There is one image that reflection on my childhood always draws- it is the memory of the sweet, sweet summer. The vibrant blue sky is lit up with the sun and the only clouds in it are the big puffy ones that I have always wished I could lounge around on. My friends and I would spend days laying on our backs staring at them, watching them change shapes and form transforming into things that were familiar to us. It was the unfamiliar shapes that seemed the most fascinating to me. They were so fresh, mysterious and captivating; I wanted to be the one who someday named those shapes. There was so much mystery in life and the cloud shapes- I was fascinated and encouraged to unravel the mystery. It seems now as an adult that the more I unravel things, the more they seem to unveil more mystery and confusion. Nietzsche once said, “There are no facts, only interpretations.” As the child that lived in that summer day I would have never believed the person who told me that, but as an adult I seem to live in the haze that a fact-less world provides. One where everyone has an interpretation, so much so that I can’t even remember what mine own interpretation was.


There was no confusion on those summer days. No cloudiness. Only long, warm days filled with endless sunshine, the feeling of freshly cut grass through my bare feet and ending the day around the dinner table with a cold glass of ice tea, a plate of spaghetti and the sensation of the summer breeze being dispersed throughout the house by a ceiling fan. Life seemed so perfect and I hated it when those summer days would end. Sometimes I try to recreate that feeling of comfort and security in my own home, but the spaghetti never tastes right and as hard as I might try, my tea is never quite like Mom’s.


Nothing is like those long, country summer days, especially long summer days in the city. The summer days here consist of too much humidity that seems trapped around the sidewalk by the buildings that are so tall, if the sun were to make an appearance you would never know. Here the sun doesn’t shine, and there aren’t white puffy clouds. Instead the sky is a constant shade of gray, one that gets lighter and darker depending on whether it’s rainy or “clear”. The only cloud is one of fog and pollution. It’s no wonder that people who live in the city don’t seem to live as long- they have no fresh air, no warm memories. Just fog and gray.

Now as an adult the world not only seems foggy and confusing, it seems so cold, frozen and lifeless. Growing up in the heart of the “Bible-Belt” faith seemed so easy and God seemed so close. Now living in the heart of this city, God is not even an afterthought. It seems that the city isn’t even an afterthought of God’s. Maybe the reason the sky is so foggy and the world is so lonely is because God is so far removed. It’s a lot easier to believe in a god when life is easy, but life isn’t easy anymore and perhaps it never was. I look around as I walk from my apartment to work, and all around me are ardent examples of how removed God is from the world. I see shells of men begging for just enough change to buy a Big Mac. Where is the providential hand of God in that? Where is the love of God in the acts of violence that rip apart lives that have so much potential? I find myself struggling as I try to unravel these mysteries. For my family and friends back home the struggle seems to be nonexistent- they know God, love God and God knows and loves them. I do not know what to believe about the things of this world and I feel as though many people are simply blind to coldness like they are still in the egg state- comfortable, blind and obvious to anything outside of themselves.


The more that this mystery is opened, the more mystery there is. I’m not sure that the problem is completely that God has turned God’s back on the world and it’s pain, but perhaps the world has also turned its back on God. I really don’t know what the answer is. I think it’s all interpretations. But there is a large part of me that longs for those naive days of Barbie dolls and sweet tea. Even if I could go back, it would never be the same.


Disclaimer: While somethings are based upon real experiences- not all are. For example, I never stole anyone's Barbie Doll.

Turn it Off!!

Wow. Days like today remind me why having responsibility in my top strengths is a bad combination with OCD tenancies. I have this paper due tomorrow. It's my final project for my assessment class. When I think of assessment reports, my mind goes back to my Belmont days and my BURS research papers and presentations. So. . . I have been working on this elaborate literature review about living learning communities and first-generation students. I just got off the phone with a classmate and realized that it was not necessary. The paper is basically a reflection of what we did and what we learned. No literature review necessary. I'm such a loser!!! Granted, this information is necessary for a poster session at a conference in February, so really it's not that much overkill. But still, I could have written this paper on the plane rather than spending the entire time trying to do my overachiever version. I'm such a loser.



On a positive note- I was supposed to take my car in today to have her timing belt changed. I have been putting this off for about a month and a half since it's a pretty expensive operation. When I woke up this morning, I really felt like I should wait and take it next Monday. So I called the dealership to say that I would need to bring it in on Monday. Today, in the mail, I received a coupon for timing belts. It's $110 cheaper than what I would be paying if I had taken it today. Provision? Anyone?Since my recent posts have been more reflective in nature here's a run down of my life:- Thanksgiving break was great. I went home to KY. I ate a lot. Met my brother's girlfriend- she's really cool. Did black Friday shopping, which I found very fun and not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.




- Dad and I went to the UK/UT football game. I have been looking forward to that all semester because I was CONFIDENT that I would get to go to my first winning UK game. After 4 overtimes, two frozen feet, and a headache from the loud guy next to me, my streak (and UK's for that matter) continued. I did manage to get a picture of the UT player blocking what would have been the wining UK field goal: It's kinda cool, right? I was also on national t.v. Also kinda cool.

- I have my last assessment class tomorrow. Last law class on Tuesday. Last Practicum class on Wednesday. Then, only one more semester of classes. Praise the Lord. I need a long break from organized-classroom learning.

Well, that's all I have to keep me procrastinating from this paper. I need to write it so I can get up and work out in the AM. It's been a long time since Steph and I have gone, so 5:30 will come early.


disclaimer: I wrote this last night, but acidentally deleted it. So, thanks to my friend Kristine, it's back. The Assessment class- over. Paper- Check!

Above All Else. . .

"Above All Else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 4:23

Lately this verse has been running through my head. Typically when that verse is cited it's in reference to romantic relationships. But lately I've been wondering, what does it really mean to guard your heart? Is that only about romance? Or is it about friendships? Discussions in class or at work?

I have realized in recent months, that I have been super cautious of my heart here. By that I mean, I have been careful not to step on toes, not to put myself too far out there. I know that my political and religious views are very different than most everyone that I am surrounded by. I know that I am called to be different. I have found myself struggling in that place, and choosing to live out of those convictions rather than voicing them always. I believe that actions speak louder than words, and I have tried to live that way. Knowing, that when I have tried to voice my faith, that voice has been reshaped and used by others for their own advantage. Which is often harmful to myself and others. That hurts. So- I'm guarded. Perhaps too guarded.

When does guarding your heart really turn into fakeness? I struggle with wondering if I am really being fake with those around me. I wonder if when I leave this place, if they will know what that something different about me was. Have I given all the Glory that I have been put in this place to give? Have I been living a life of true love that shows that there is a Driving Force behind the words I say, the way I act that is different from the rest? Or, out of fear disguised as guarding my heart, have I allowed the focus to stay here on earth, where it truly doesn't belong?

I wonder.

In a similar, but altogether different context, I ask- When does guarding your heart really mean being fearful to take the next step? When does guarding your heart prevent you from having the hard conversations that you really need to have? The conversations that truly could change and alter your life in amazing ways you would never imagine? When, out of fear disguised as guarding our hearts, do we avoid them? Or the silence. Too scared to break our hearts, or our reputations, that we remain guarded.

I wonder.

I do not know where the lines are. I do not know how to balance the wise guarding and the wise risking. The bittersweet fact is, scripture does not provide us with a formula to this balancing act. All I know is that I have been promised that the Holy Spirit is with me, and that, as long as I seek His face, He will guide my steps. And my hopes. So, perhaps sometimes He calls us to take a risk for the hopes that he has placed in our hearts. It's a balancing act. All of life is. I am confident I will never understand this side of heaven. I pray daily that will bring peace to my often restless heart. Until then, as I cautiously tread the tight rope between guarding and risk-taking, I remember this other Proverb:

"Better is open rebuke
Than hidden love"
-Proverbs 27:5

----------------
Now playing: Andy Davis - Brown Eyes
via FoxyTunes

Christmas Season

I went shopping a few days ago for Christmas decorations and Christmas cards. I love sending Christmas cards to family members and friends. I prefer to send cards that wish a "Merry Christmas" and have a Christmas-related Bible verse inside. It took me a considerable amount of time to such "religious Christmas cards" in the Christmas section at Wal-mart. When I did find them, they were in a small section labeled "Religious Christmas Cards" and removed from the rest of the card selection by several aisles. Even within that small display, it still took me a while to find a plain, Christmas card that actually referred to the birth of Christ.

I cannot explain how frustrated that made me! I understand that Christmas is not the only holiday, religious or otherwise, celebrated during December. I am also fully aware that not everyone who celebrates Christmas is a Christian or even religious at all. However, it seems to me that every year Christmas is becoming more and more commercialized.

I believe that everyone who celebrates a holiday during this season should be able to find decorations or cards that are appropriate for the holiday they are celebrating. However, I hate that we have become so politically correct that we lose sight of the meaning behind the largest holiday in this time. Let us remember that the other holidays are either, a. not major holidays for that particular religion, or b. are non-religious based holidays that are not exclusive (but often inclusive) of Christmas.

I am sad that in our country we have lost a sense of the meaning of Christmas between the holiday-neutral cards and the fear of upsetting someone by celebrating a holiday that should be near to our hearts. I am not promoting that we don't allow the sales of non-religious Christmas cards (although, that seems a bit oxymoronic to me). I am saying though, that at the root of it all, Christmas is about Christ- His birth and what it means for each of us. It doesn't mean a time for us to get whatever we want from Target, but rather, it means true life, redemption, and koinonia. I hope that we never completely lose sight of that.

7 things. . .

Here are seven things you may or may not know about me. Tiff tagged me on this from her blog and I hope my things make it worth the tag!

1. I have auditioned for Jeopardy twice (most recently in February)

2. I really want to be a writer/editor of a magazine about faith, spirituality and vocation some day.

3. I like taking photographs, three of them have won awards in competitions.

4. I love brussel spouts!! I eat them 3-4 times a week, not kidding.

5. I really want to go to London, Italy and Ireland. But I'm terrified of flying so I'm not sure I could ever do the plane ride to Europe.

6. I am terrified of plane rides! Intellection is one of my strenghts on strengths quest, but that causes me to think too much! So every little bump turns into an engine falling of in my head. I fly early in the morning a lot of times so that I can just sleep.

7. I want a big family- 4-6 kids, 2-4 of which I want to adopt from either Ukraine/Moldova and/or Africa.

Now I tag:
Carrie
Grace
Kristine
Rachel
Lauren

Red Cup Season

The red cups at Starbucks mark the beginning of the holiday season in my mind. Today, I stopped on the way home from running errands at the local drive through Starbucks. I was delighted to find advertisement on the menu for the traditional holiday flair. I gave into the marketing and ordered a holiday drink. After completing the sale, I was greeted with my venti non-fat, no whip peppermint mocha in a bright red cup!

It amazes me how big a difference the color of my coffee cup makes in my attitude for the rest of the day. I love red cup season, I really do. Perhaps it's because I love the Christmas holiday season and all that it means. I love the emphasis on faith, on family and friends. Even though it is typically colder, and grayer physically, everything seems to be right with the world. It reminds me that even though the world and my life often seem crazy and hectic, there truly is a peace that reigns true through it all.

It's really easy for me to forget that peace in life, and even in the midst of the Christmas season. For that reason, here are some things I am thankful and/or hopeful about. I hope this will remind me and you when life gets hectic that joy and peace can be found within it all.

* Faith and redemption
* My rockstar RA staff
* Being within 180 days of graduating
* Being able to get my Masters degree
* Having more clarity about the possibility of a Ph.D in the future
* Finally being halfway good at scrabble
* Using technology to keep in touch with my friends far away
* Rekindling friendships with people who mean a lot to me
* The simplistic yet profound music of Dave Barnes, Matt Wertz, Andy Davis, Steven Clawson and Rob Blackledge
* Having a job that I enjoy
* The promise that I will always have a job that I enjoy
* Amazing friends! (Even when they all live outside of CS and sometimes the US)
* Time to read my favorite authors (Donald Miller and Elisabeth Elliot)
* Calling and passion
* Great family
* Dallas, the Reunion Tower, and the conversations had therein
* Enjoying a professional conference and feeling as though I actually fit there
* Encouragement
* Mentoring students and young women
* Loving and being loved
* Promise of a future and hope (Jer. 29:11)
* Learning to trust in hope (Romans 5:3-5)
* Small details and dreams falling into place (aka- a DOG!)
* My brother's health making changes in family relationships
* That my brother is ok
* Friends weddings
* Excitement, anticipation about this season and what God is going to do in the next few months!

This is a growing, evolving list that will always be missing something. I pray I would be made more aware of what I should be thankful for.

----------------
Now playing: Rob Blackledge - One Step Away
via FoxyTunes

A New Leaf

I knew that this moment would come, but it has always felt so far in the future. I have been working with the purpose of this season and the ones to follow for a long time. Yet, it is oddly surreal being in this moment. I completed my first job application on Monday. The job search has officially begun! The spreadsheet has been started, and the emails about new posts have started to pour in. I delete most, but their presence is an increasing reminder that the season of graduate school is coming to a close (for now at least). My cohort is pictured here- It's hard to believe that I only have 184 days with them.

Additionally, we had our mock interviewing conference today. We were each paired up with three professionals throughout the division who worked in functional areas we plan to interview for. I have to say, that went MUCH better than I had anticipated. I interviewed for Orientation, Greek Life and Student Activities- two of the three I have not been involved in since undergrad. I left the "conference" with the reassurance that I would be able to get a job in any of those areas.

With that completed, I put the final touches on my resume (for the last time) tonight. Final copies of cover letters are in the final stages. I'm down to three assignments for class this semester. I am having a very difficult time staying focused right now. My mind is wondering about what is out there in the future. Every transition that I've made before, I've known where it is that I wanted to go. This time around, I know where my heart wants to be, and I'm praying things line up like they should.

Keep me in your prayers friends!

----------------
Now playing: Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway
via FoxyTunes

Deminishing Stress Levels

20 days until I go home for Thanksgiving. 45 days until I'm home for Christmas. 98 days until Homecoming. 124 days until NASPA. 190 days until I have a Masters Degree (officially).

Baby Steps, friends, Baby Steps.

I just returned on Tuesday from the National Orientation Directors Association Conference (NODAC) in Dallas. The picture on the left is of the hotel where the conference was located (the big glass building). Additionally, the Reunion Tower (the big tower with a ball on top) is attached to the hotel. I have always been fascinated by the Reunion Tower every time I've driven through Dallas. Imagine my excitement when I actually got to go up in the tower and see it!! I spent about an hour and a half with one of my favorite people walking around the tower, checking out the city of Dallas and catching up on life. It was such a great night.

NODAC was great. I stayed at my good friend Becky's house and I was so grateful to be able to spend time catching up with her. Catching up with people seemed to be the theme of my days in Dallas. I was able to see my mentors from Belmont, Matt and Holly, and my friends from Baylor. I was actually sad to see the conference end because it meant that everyone had to go back home. :(

Then, after a brief stop in Waco to grab coffee and pick up a student, I headed back to College Station. I brought a Baylor student back to College Station with me and we had a great conversation about life and love in the car on the way back. Times like that truly feed my soul!!

So now I'm back and trying to get everything ready and completed before I leave for Dallas again on Saturday morning. This time I'll be going to the Southern Association of College Student Affairs conference (SACSA). I will be seeing some more old friends this weekend, at a different hotel in Dallas.

This past weekend was very refreshing and gave me a renewed since of hope about the future. I'm so excited to see where God leads me over the next few months. And, I'm grateful that there is starting to be a much brighter light at the end of the tunnel.

One other thing. . .

201 days until I have an off-campus apartment somewhere other than College Station with a dog and a bed with a headboard.

Maybe the apartment will be located in a city that has real trees that change colors in the fall. . .

----------------
Now playing: Carrie Underwood - So Small
via FoxyTunes

Perspective

All the work I have to do this weekend (and this week because I have not been productive) means that by Friday I will be heading to Dallas and will be more than halfway finished with my law class. Halfway finished with law forever. Sweet.

Gotta keep truckin'

----------------
Now playing: Keith Urban - Stupid Boy
via FoxyTunes

The Summary of My Life

Can be contained within one paper. Not so much within the paper itself, or the article it was based off of, but the blonde moment surrounding it. Last Thursday we had a quantitative article critique due in my assessment class. The assignment was to find an article, and critique it. I printed the article way ahead of time, and the paper was a short 2-3 pager. I turned it in, no sweat. My assessment professor's office is next door to my practicum office. Today I walk to work, and there on my door is a bright pink post-it that says:

"Sarah,

Come see me when you get a chance.

Darby"

I get really nervous when people write vague things like that, largely because I am scared to death I'm going to screw something up. I sit in my office waiting for her to come. 45 minutes later she gets back from lunch.

I nervously ask, "What did I do wrong?" . . .

Her: "Well . . .(pause) nothing"

Me: "Does my paper stink? It does doesn't it?"

Her: "Well I don't know because I haven't read your paper. . . .
(pause)"

Me: "oh"

Come to find out I had not read the assignment very clearly. The article was supposed to be from one of two journals. And I, unlike any other one of my 11 classmates, totally missed that. Even though, it was highlighted on my syllabus.

I felt like the biggest idiot. I was assured, at least one person does it every year. I am that one person. That really stinks for a OCD-perfectionist like myself. So, after apologizing profusely, she agrees to allow me re-write it. I am simultaneously relieved and stressed. I have basically less than 24 hours to re-write the paper and submit it before class tomorrow. If something horrible happens and I can't get it finished (i.e crisis in my hall) I get until Friday at 12. This is good because I don't have time to have this hanging over my head this weekend.

So, on the night I reserved for knocking out my law case study due Tuesday. I'm re-writing a paper that I finished over a week ago. I feel like a really competent grad student. (insert sarcastic look)

Here's why this stresses me out- my to-do list for next week:

• Law case study (10-12 pages) due Tuesday
• Law reading and Major Concept (we have a guest teacher. . . one of our Associate VPs, needless to say I need to know my shiznet)
• Revised Resume and Cover letter Due Wednesday
• Online Practicum class discussion Wednesday
• Reading and Major Concepts for Assessment due Thursday
• Leave Friday night for Dallas for a conference through the 30th. Which means: my Law Research Project (10-12 pages on freedom of expression and faculty/staff spirituality) that is due on the 30th, must be turned in by next Friday along with the accompanying major concept from that day's reading.
• Oh yeah, and National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week is next week. I'm on the planning committee so every day I have activities that I have to be at for that.
• Two days after I get back from the conference, one of my assessment projects is due. Luckily I basically finished that one on the plane ride back from KY. I need to proof read it and make sure I fully read the instructions.

So. . . needless to say, I'm buried in school work this weekend. Which is sad. But, I'm also on call for Res life which means I need to stick close to campus anyway. I would like to have all the assignments finished by Sunday night. I am going to work very hard to make it happen.

I also need to fit in donating plasma, getting my hair cut, and calling a couple of my favorite Belmont people to make sure they know I'm going to be in Dallas. I certainly don't want any of this school work hanging over my head since I want to be free to visit with my friends! There are so many folks I'm going to want to catch up with while I'm there. For me, NODAC is the light at the end of my tunnel. . . never thought I'd say that about a professional conference.

On a positive school note- I actually used my Law today, and knew what I was talking about! My brother is having some issues with one of his professors allowing him to make up work from when he was unconscious in ICU. She refuses to allow him to make up a speech he was supposed to give, told him she should have e-mailed her and suggested he drop the course. I remind you, he was unconscious in ICU at the time. How he would have e-mailed her, I'm not sure! Anyway, I explained to my mom that his medical condition is covered under ADA and that if he goes through the appropriate disabilities office she can't legally deny him reasonable accommodations. It was pretty neat.

Anyway, other than school, life has been good. I have 14 conduct cases scheduled for this week, but I'm actually starting to enjoy that process. 5 of them were guys who are involved in pranks with trash cans in my building. I loved assigning them community service of taking the trash out for the custodial staff every morning at 7 a.m. :) Hopefully they'll learn something from it!

Well, for me it's back to more case law. Once I finish printing off my articles for the case study, I need to do my assessment paper. Wish me luck. Say a few prayers. Feel free to distract ;)

Home

Richard went home from the hospital today. He's staying at home with my parents for a few more days and then he'll go back to his apartment in Lexington. The doctor said that he shouldn't go back to work or school until the 15th. That worked out well for school since he's on fall break this week. As far as driving, he can't do anything for three months. He's having some pretty bad headaches right now, which could be resulting from the stress of being in the hospital, the toll the seizures took on his brain and his giant fall from bed. All things considered, he is doing well. Hopefully he'll learn to make taking his anti-seizure medicine a priority in his life and that perhaps the reason he didn't have seizures (before this one) was because he was on his medicine! If you are so inclined, please continue to pray for Richard that he would remember to take his medicine and go to his doctor appointments like he's supposed to!

Thank you for your prayers. I'm grateful that he's doing well, and my mother seems less stressed than last time. I personally felt the weight of prayers yesterday. I was able to focus on my law case study (due tomorrow) and get it finished last night before 9. Thank you for responding to my request for prayer, it means a lot!

Update

They moved Richard out of ICU today into a normal room, and think he might get to go home tomorrow. His face is pretty beat up from his fall out of bed on Thursday night, but he's also having a lot of shoulder pain. He is suffering some memory loss related to the seizure, but no one things it'll be permanent. They think that he hasn't been taking his medication appropriately all the time and that is why he's having these issues.

Thank you for your continued prayers. It looks like he should be out and able to make it to his next shift at work on Tuesday. Granted, he can't drive himself there. He'll be stuck on the mercy of others for several months as though who have seizures are legally banned from driving for a certain period of time. Last time it was about 3-4 months. I think they usually recommend 6. The doctor hasn't talked about that with him yet. I'm sure he's curious. :)

My Brother

Many of you know that in May of 2006 my younger brother, Richard (now 21, 19 at the time), had a serious infection that resulted in three critical brain surgeries including the removal and replacement of a section of his forehead. He spent about 2.5 weeks in ICU and had lots of follow up medical stuff including visits from a home health nurse multiple times a week all summer and a Pic-Line in his heart with antibiotics for two months. Additionally, in February he had several seizures that put him back in the hospital for a few days and resulted in a life time prescription for anti-seizure medication.

I just spoke to my mom, and she told me that my brother had another pretty bad seizure on Thursday night and is currently hospitalized in Lexington, KY. My parents are currently driving from the old hospital in Louisville with his medical records to the one in Lexington so that they can compare MRIs in the hope that they would be able to figure out what's going on. According to my mom, he's pretty out of it. He's also fighting the doctors and nurses with treatments (which is normal, he's pretty feisty and did that back in May, a lot.) His girlfriend is there holding his hand, which I think my mom might be having a harder time with than his illness (not really, but she doesn't think it's very funny to joke about. I like to joke about it, because I'm his big sister and it's my job.)

I ask that you would pray for his healing. That the doctors would figure out what is going on, and why these seizures continue to happen. Pray that my brother would quit fighting it so much and trust the doctors, that he would take his medicine as he's supposed to. Pray for my parents, especially my mom, that they would trust God's hand in this. Pray that this wouldn't put my brother any further behind in college than he already is, or effect his grades or memory of what he's learned this semester. (When he was first hospitalized in May of 2006, he ended up having to drop all the classes he had taken at UofL that semester because he couldn't remember it to complete them. That process took about 7 months though, and they put him through the ringer along the way.) Pray that LCC/UK will be much better at working with his medical condition and making up his course work than UofL was. Pray that he wouldn't feel defeated as a result of this set back, and that he would continue to live life as normal once he's better and that he'll stay in school. Also, pray that both my parent's employers would be understanding of their need to be away from work, and not penalize them for this (They were great in May, providing food vouchers for the hospital cafeteria among other things, so there is no need to worry. But you always worry because you never know). Selfishly, I ask that you would pray for me in this too. My role within my family has always been to be the strong one holding things together in times like this and it kills me that I can't be there. Pray that I would have peace and be able to focus on my life here, which doesn't stop because my brother is sick.

Blessings

It's Friday night and I'm spending it working on homework as usual. I've got a law case study due Tuesday and a Qualitative Analysis due on Thursday. I've *started* each but haven't actually begun writing. I am hoping to do that tonight.

Last night, the world seemed so dramatic and dismal. I think that may have been due to my lack of sleep the night before. I got the meningitis shot on Wednesday- by bedtime my arm hurt so badly that every time I rolled over I woke up. I did not sleep well, and found myself tired, cranky and overly dramatic all day. But, after going to bed last night at 9 p.m., today the world seems so much brighter!

Tonight I had dinner with a new friend. She was introduced to me by the registrar at Baylor, and she is currently a Ph.D student at A&M. We met for dinner at Blue Baker and talked for over 2 hours. I can tell that her friendship is going to be such a blessing to me this semester. It's so nice to find some of "my people" here. There is so much to be said for connecting on a spiritual level with someone.

So, as I prepare to write a case study that I have no idea how to begin, I find myself reflecting on my current life. While I would still say I am excited to be finished up here in 216 days (It's almost to less than 200!!!!), I rest in the knowledge that my life is not that bad. I really know what I'm doing with my job, and though there is always work left at the end of the day, I believe that I do it well. My school work is going well (I got a 96 on our Assessment Test), and I feel confident about my pending job search.

I have been truly blessed. I'm so glad I have the perspective to see that now.

I'm a winner!

I use a google powered search engine called "Blingo". It is google, but with the added bonus that every time you search you might win a prize.

Today I did! I won a $5 amazon gift card. They give everything from that to phones and ipods!

Not only did I win, but the friend who referred me won the same thing (because she referred me).

If you use google often (as I do), you should go to blingo.com instead. You could also "register" through this link and if you win anything, I would get it to.

I'm really excited about my Amazon gift card. :) It's a good day!

Hope

I recently purchased a decorative plaque to hang on the wall that has a version Romans 5:3-5 on it. The theme is Hope. The plaque says:

Rejoice in our suffering,
Because suffering produces perseverance
Perseverance-Character
Character-HOPE

After hanging it on the wall, I realized it is an incomplete thought- it is missing "and hope does not disappointed us." While being surprised that I remembered the rest of the passage, I was struck by how often I leave that tag line off as well.

I think I get so caught up in the idea of God's will versus my own that I forget I'm expected to be hopeful. What I mean by that is I am so sure that what I want and am hopeful for is probably not what's in God's will for me that I am afraid to ask.

The rest of the verse says "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 3:5). This tells me that if my heart is hoping for something, and I am truly seeking God with my life, it is put there by His love and the Holy Spirit. Wow.

I am so often fearful of the disappointment, that I often forget or even refuse to hope. More often than not, I talk myself out of hope. What a sad state of life! It is not at all what I am called to! By stifling hope, which is built out of prayer and walking with the Lord, I am causing my own disappointment, but more importantly stifling the work of the Spirit! My false humility may actually be hindering God's glory in myself or others.

Currently, there are a couple of "situations" (I use that word only because I can't think of anything else to classify them as) where I have rejected hope. Last night, I truly prayed out of the heart asking the Lord for the things my heart was secretly hoping for inside. I have not felt that peace and confidence in what I hope for in a long time. I felt it last night. I don't know if God will answer them as I would like (I am learning to hope that He will), but perhaps they are there so I learn to be hopeful.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings becuase we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:3-5

Off to a good start. . .

Welcome to October! October is one of my favorite months, largely because it begins the obvious change from summer to fall. While it's harder to recognize the differing seasons here, in my mind it is preparation time. I love fall. The bright colors, distinct biting chill, and the promise of impending death and life. So beautiful, and poetic! I know that fall has usually marked times of struggle and death in my own life, that always have a time of new life at some point. I am excited to see the results of this fall in my life.

Both the week and the month were welcomed in by a great Monday. I woke up on time today with the hope of getting my laundry and shower in before starting my office hours at 8:30. Both things were accomplished with ease. My RA one on ones today went very well and we had great conversations about both work and life. The RA class that I co-teach was canceled by the other teacher, as was my 1:30 meeting. Therefore, I spent 8:30-1:30 in the office and then had the rest of the afternoon off.

GLORIOUS.

I am not afraid to take advantage of an afternoon off. So, today I went shopping at the Kohls that just opened yesterday. I found a few great purchases (including two pair of great pumps that will be perfect with the suits I have). I was hoping to find my more options of shirts to wear under my suits, but I didn't find much. I did find some great ones for going out or the office, depending on the pants they are worn with. Oh what a great day for shopping.

Now I'm sitting at my favorite BCS coffee shop with the hope of knocking out a lot of work that's due in the next couple of weeks. In addition to the usual major concepts for every chapter we read (aka busy work), I have my first law case due next week as well as a paper for assessment. Neither one will be difficult, it's just finding time to sit down and knock them out. Since I have nothing until my staff meeting tonight at 8:30, I'll probably be doing that soon.

Yesterday I had my first (and hopefully last) real evacuation of my building. We had a room that complained of smelling natural gas, so I got the chance to pull the fire alarm. After about 30 minutes the fire department determined that it was only sewer gas back-up from the cafeteria next to my hall. (DISGUSTING) I had two students who I caught leaving the building about 10 minutes after the alarm was pulled (a boy and girl, the boy was a non-resident visiting the girl). I decided not to write them up, since the hall director on call, David, and myself put the fear of God and fire alarms in them. I don't think either student will fail to evacuate a building again. Ha. ha. Other than that and yet another fire ant bite on my foot, nothing was too eventful.

This Saturday was the Baylor/A&M football game. Since I didn't have any visitors I was able to work the face painting table all morning which was so fun. I LOVE face painting. We typically purchase paints for the opposing team, and since this week was Baylor I took the opportunity to wear a Baylor t-shirt. That's what the photo is from.

While face painting i ran into my friends David and Erin who had an extra ticket to the game. So, when we were finished face painting I joined them in the student section for the first half of the game. I'll be honest, it was a rather boring game. Both teams really stunk. But it was great to go to another football game, and I now have a sunburn on my left arm to prove I went.

This weekend two of my favorite Belmont Alumni/Singer/songwriters are playing a show at Common Grounds in Waco. Andy Davis and Tyler James are going to be playing after the football game. I'm still up in the air about whether or not to go. I very much want to go, I LOVE both those guys, but I have a couple assignments due next week. I'll have to see how much I get accomplished in the next couple of days before deciding.

Today A&M is announcing that we have two confirmed cases of bacterial meningitis in the residence hall across from mine. Pray for those students and their families. Also, if you work with students, get your shots. :)

Submission, Self-Sufficiency and Independence. . . Where to start?!

I've recently found myself with extra time for reading, and feeling drawn to works by Elisabeth Elliot. Most specifically I am reading Let Me Be A Woman which is a collection of 49 letters that Elliot wrote to her daughter when she was engaged and preparing to marry. I had no idea that's what it was about when I purchased the book. I just saw it on Amazon.com and said that's the one! I haven't been able to put it down since I started reading it, and it really has me thinking.

The concept of submission within scripture is one that I have openly had issues with. As a woman I just cannot wrap my mind around it. I am sure that has something to do with the lack of relationships where I have had to practice it, but I can't even imagine how that begins to take shape, or what it means.

In my mind I think of Mary Winkler in Tennessee. She was arrested my senior year of college for murdering her husband. She didn't contest that she murdered him, but stated that she snapped from years of being "submissive" to her husband and sacrificing who she was to please him. The details of the case are up for debate, but I can see the defeat and the lack of self-confidence in her eyes. (maybe that's just my empathy strength getting the best of me)

If that is what submission to my husband is supposed to look like, I think I'll keep my single life. I can manage my own finances, take care of my car, fix the basics around my house. Until recently I never even thought twice about going to Wal-Mart or the grocery story by myself in the middle of the night.

I'm self-sufficient and independent. I kinda like it that way.

But then I picture my parents and am sure that they are an excellent example of what Biblical marriage is supposed to look like. My mother (who may still read this, I'm not sure) did not marry my dad until she was 30 years old and had been a single mother for five years at that point. Much to my grandmother's chagrin, my mom stepped back and let my dad provide for her and their family. She certainly was capable of taking care of things by herself. But yet, my mom trusts completely in my dad. While he is not the sole decision maker, everything goes through him. My father adores my mother (the only time I've seen him truly angry is when someone has hurt my mom). My mom's submission to my dad is not her saying he's better than her, but rather, her accepting that he has a role, and she has a role. It works so well. I believe that's the way it's supposed to be.

My question is, where does the woman that is self-sufficient, and independent fit in that picture? The picture of womanhood that is painted by our society is extremely confusing and contradictory. Elliot and others paint a picture of a woman who is only truly fulfilled in a marriage where she is submissive to her husband. I have yet to find a definition of submission and what that means. Reading her writing though, it seems to be indescribable and appealing. My faith tells me this is the way to go.

However, I am a child of my generation. Myself and the rest of my peers were raised by parents who saw, lived and experienced the 60s and the feminist revolution. While my parents are in no way feminists, they did raise me to take care of myself. I am independent because they made me that way, for the most part and also partially because, as my mom told me this weekend, I've been 30 since I was 3.

My colleagues here at seem to be of two types of women. The first are those who do not ever want to get married or have a family. They only want companionship because they do not want to die and no one notice. The second type are those who seem to think they can truly have it all. They are the ones who want to be the most recognized in our field, and be outstanding soccer moms at the same time. I'm not sure I fit in either place.

I long to some day be married and have a family. I know I have not yet been called to that, but believe that some day I will be (and pray that it will come). While I also feel called to my profession, in the scope of life I care more about being a good wife and mother than I care about being an outstanding professional. My calling to this field is for this season, and I cannot promise how long that season will last. Many of my colleagues would tell me that I am foolish, and cannot understand that perhaps being a wife and mother is a calling. But then, the concept of calling is often beyond them as well.

My answer is that there must be a middle road. More so, I long to learn what this idea of submission looks like in reality. I heard a sermon this summer about submission (there seems to be a trend), and it was one of the best that I've heard. He talked about the single woman's call to be submissive to Christ. That it is preparation ground for marriage, but not that the husband becomes Christ. Rather, that each man and woman, when truly living their God given roles, draw each other closer to Christ through that relationship.

I really believe that in this season of my life, God is teaching me about what it means to be submissive to Him. I do not believe that lesson is one that is left solely to women to learn. It's just the one that is meant for me right now. I think it's a fitting lesson for me to be learning as I begin taking steps towards the next season of life (a real job!). Submitting to God's will and call in my life, and trusting that it all works for good is a timely lesson to learn and depend on.

I'm finally taking my car into the shop tomorrow to get the cigarette lighter fixed (it's only been broken since January). I'm also getting an estimate of how much it would cost to install a tow hitch to it for moving. . .

Yikes. . . anyone?!

This picture is of my friends Sarah and Tiff (L-R) and myself at the Baylor v. Texas State Game this past weekend. I drove up to Waco Saturday afternoon to go to the game and visit with some of my dear Baylor friends. I attended the game with the Baylor student services grad students (Baylor's equivalent to my grad program). After Baylor defeated Texas State (not by much, they are going to have to step it up if they want to beat A&M on the 29th), a few of us headed to Chili's for an after game celebration. Sunday I went to church with two of my BaylorBound leaders and then met the rest at my favorite Waco restaurant- The Clay Pot. Lunch and fellowship was GLORIOUS. It was so good to see them all!

I also surprisingly ran into my friend Becky at the Baylor game Saturday. Becky is an Alumna of Baylor, but just graduated (May 07) from my grad program here at A&M. She also did her summer internship at Belmont with our mutual friend Matt. So, needless to say, Becky kept me sane last year and it was such a blessing to run into her. She and I got together for coffee on Sunday afternoon and it was so nice to catch up and hear about her life. Plus get her take on my current one. She's such a great friend.

Saturday before heading up to Waco, I had a "lunch date" with one of my old RAs. It was really nice to see her and hear how her summer went and talk about mine. I should be seeing more of this year, as she's involved with the SisterSHINE program that I'm going to be a spiritual mom for.

Since coming back I've been in a funk. I did not get as much school or work related things finished before I left as I had hoped and now I'm feeling pretty far behind. In reality, I'm not behind at all. I'm still ahead of where I would have been last year, but I've gotten used to doing school work in advance. So tonight I spent a while at a coffee shop catching up on things. Tomorrow I will be doing the same thing. I will probably be there from after class on. I want to get everything for this week finished, and get started on next week so I don't have to worry about it.

Friday morning I fly home for the weekend. I can't wait! I get to spend my weekend with this lovely girl:(that photo is us in Gulfport, MS on the beach. Ignore how awful we both look, we had been driving ALL DAY and neither one of us had slept much the night before). I can't wait. :)

Well friends, that's all for now. I'm off to bed. I need to not get back in the habit of staying out at coffee shops until 1 a.m. this semester. But, we'll make tonight an exception!

.peace and love.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you-- the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore"
Psalm 121

Things I'm looking forward to:

* Shopping this afternoon
* A roadtrip to Waco this weekend
* My first football game of the season on Saturday
* Going to KY in 7 days
* Spending a great weekend with Grace before she moves to Italy forever
* Becoming a BASICS/Motivational Intervention Practitioner and Trainer
* UK beating UofL this weekend
* Going to SACSA and seeing my favorite Belmont People including Holly and Amy.
* Spending 8 days in Boston this March job searching, attending conferences, eating lots of good seafood and spending my spring break stressed out.
* Presenting programs at several conferences, including NASPA (keep your fingers crossed!)
* Maintaining deep friendship
* Finding a job that I LOVE!
* Graduating in 239 days
* Seeing what crazy roads God takes me down in the next 239 days. . . it's going to be a wild ride!

My women's fraternity, Alpha Gamma Delta, sends me an e-mail newsletter monthly called "Transitions". This e-mail has information about some issue that the women (and men) mid-late twenties/early thirty crowd are facing. I got this one the other day, and thought it quiet poinent. I'd like to share!

"I recently finished a great book called Refrigerator Rights, and highly suggest you read it. No, it isn’t the newest diet fad, or a guide to buying kitchen appliances. I know most of us have an ever-increasing list of books that we’re going to read, someday, so I’ll just give you the jist: Written by a stand-up comedian turned minister turned therapist, Dr. Will Miller says that humans thrive on intimate relationships - the kind of friendships where you can grab a soda out of each others refrigerator without asking or feeling weird about it.

Who’s allowed in your fridge?

I ask because it seems like my group of fridge friends has lessened somewhat since college. Time and distance have changed things, and that’s unfortunate. I want friends who I don’t have to try so hard with, ones who can plop on my couch and be happy watching a rerun of Back to the Future on TBS. We don’t even have to talk. Just knowing they’re there and that they care is good enough.

Dr. Miller proposes that today’s Americans are increasingly lonely and depressed due to a lack of refrigerator rights relationships. He asserts that we miss out on these types of relationships for two reasons. First, he charges the growing trend of mobility. Nearly one-third of Americans in our age bracket move every year. That’s a lot! Because of our propensity to move around, we often limit our chances of becoming part of a true community. I’ve experienced this first-hand. I’ve avoided joining clubs because I knew I’d soon be moving and would likely be forced to cut my membership short. Likewise, I’ve neglected to nurture certain relationships. The thought of building them up only to watch them disappear seemed too upsetting. Why bother?

Our infatuation with media is the other culprit holding our refrigerator relationships in check, according to Dr. Miller. Instead of growing our social circles, we opt instead for a pseudo-social life – achieved through the radio, TV, and the Internet. During our morning drive we laugh along with our DJ comrades. We think we’re part of their gang. When we get home from work we sit staring blankly at the tube. Our lives our enmeshed with TV personalities. We feel a connection with contestants on American Idol and vote for them compulsively. I have a friend who became so involved with the LOST series, he regularly logged into a forum to share episode insights, speculations and reactions with other viewers. The show became an all-encompassing part of his life. You may say this is pathetic. But I’ll bet you’re thinking, “So? I do that, too.” Face it. Our culture is collectively moving toward isolation.

Whether or not you agree with Dr. Miller’s arguments, his theory is interesting to think about. Are you missing the deep friendships that came so easily in college? Is the e-mail correspondence you keep with your fraternity brothers or sorority sisters enough to sustain you? Make the decision now to build and maintain a network of meaningful friendships that honor refrigerator rights. Get involved. Open the door to opportunity. A heapin’ helping of friends awaits!"

I'm currently talking to my old roomie, Lauren, on-line. I also just added her blog to my friends list on this page. In adding her blog, I realized that I have quite the jet-setting group of former roommates. We all graduate and move somewhere. Lauren moves to Moldova to work with orphans and teach them about business and Jesus. Grace moves to Italy to learn to speak Italian fluently and no-doubt fall in love with a BEAUTIFUL Italian man. I, my friends, move to College Station, TX. . . not sure how I missed the cool boat. I guess someone has to be the one they keep around to make themselves feel cooler. That's what I'm here for, boosting the self-confidence of others! Just kidding. . . kind of!

I wish that I could post the faces I make when writing this stuff. . . it would make the reading more enjoyable for all.

To my higher ed grad student friends. I'm reading this book, titled Job One by Peter Magolda and Jill Ellen Carnaghi, for my Practicum Class. I highly recommend it for those who are job searching, will be soon, or anyone related to higher education. It contains a serious of essays by various new professionals that are often very poignant and dead on. It makes you think, "I'm glad I'm not the only one!"

Do read!

"The word humble comes from the root word humus, earth clay. Let me remember that when I question God's dealings. I don't understand Him, but then I"m not asked to understand, only to trust. Bitterness dissolves when I remember the kind of love with which He has loved me- He gave Himself for me. What He is doing now, therefore, is not cause for bitterness. It has to be designed for good, because He Loved me and gave Himself for me." -Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart



When I question why things don't work out the way I want them to, I need to remember that.

"For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave."
-Psalm 86:13