Friends

Some of my friends have things going on in their lives I want to tell you about.

First my friend Kim (who was one of my first residents as an RA), her husband Jamie, and their family are dealing with Kim's father's illness. He has been diagnosed with the most aggressive form of brain cancer and has death within 6 months in all cases. He was diagnosed 8 years ago! However, he is in the hospital and is very, very sick. Pray for her family and her father. Kim and Jamie are leaving tomorrow to drive from Nashville to Wisconsin, so pray for their safety and that Kim will get to spend time with her father. You can read their story by clicking here

On a happier note: My friend Kristine has designed a "green" shopping bag in a competition for Kroger. You can vote for her bag and help her win! Go Here

My women's fraternity, Alpha Gamma Delta, sends me an e-mail newsletter monthly called "Transitions". This e-mail has information about some issue that the women (and men) mid-late twenties/early thirty crowd are facing. I got this one the other day, and thought it quiet poinent. I'd like to share!

"I recently finished a great book called Refrigerator Rights, and highly suggest you read it. No, it isn’t the newest diet fad, or a guide to buying kitchen appliances. I know most of us have an ever-increasing list of books that we’re going to read, someday, so I’ll just give you the jist: Written by a stand-up comedian turned minister turned therapist, Dr. Will Miller says that humans thrive on intimate relationships - the kind of friendships where you can grab a soda out of each others refrigerator without asking or feeling weird about it.

Who’s allowed in your fridge?

I ask because it seems like my group of fridge friends has lessened somewhat since college. Time and distance have changed things, and that’s unfortunate. I want friends who I don’t have to try so hard with, ones who can plop on my couch and be happy watching a rerun of Back to the Future on TBS. We don’t even have to talk. Just knowing they’re there and that they care is good enough.

Dr. Miller proposes that today’s Americans are increasingly lonely and depressed due to a lack of refrigerator rights relationships. He asserts that we miss out on these types of relationships for two reasons. First, he charges the growing trend of mobility. Nearly one-third of Americans in our age bracket move every year. That’s a lot! Because of our propensity to move around, we often limit our chances of becoming part of a true community. I’ve experienced this first-hand. I’ve avoided joining clubs because I knew I’d soon be moving and would likely be forced to cut my membership short. Likewise, I’ve neglected to nurture certain relationships. The thought of building them up only to watch them disappear seemed too upsetting. Why bother?

Our infatuation with media is the other culprit holding our refrigerator relationships in check, according to Dr. Miller. Instead of growing our social circles, we opt instead for a pseudo-social life – achieved through the radio, TV, and the Internet. During our morning drive we laugh along with our DJ comrades. We think we’re part of their gang. When we get home from work we sit staring blankly at the tube. Our lives our enmeshed with TV personalities. We feel a connection with contestants on American Idol and vote for them compulsively. I have a friend who became so involved with the LOST series, he regularly logged into a forum to share episode insights, speculations and reactions with other viewers. The show became an all-encompassing part of his life. You may say this is pathetic. But I’ll bet you’re thinking, “So? I do that, too.” Face it. Our culture is collectively moving toward isolation.

Whether or not you agree with Dr. Miller’s arguments, his theory is interesting to think about. Are you missing the deep friendships that came so easily in college? Is the e-mail correspondence you keep with your fraternity brothers or sorority sisters enough to sustain you? Make the decision now to build and maintain a network of meaningful friendships that honor refrigerator rights. Get involved. Open the door to opportunity. A heapin’ helping of friends awaits!"

I'm currently talking to my old roomie, Lauren, on-line. I also just added her blog to my friends list on this page. In adding her blog, I realized that I have quite the jet-setting group of former roommates. We all graduate and move somewhere. Lauren moves to Moldova to work with orphans and teach them about business and Jesus. Grace moves to Italy to learn to speak Italian fluently and no-doubt fall in love with a BEAUTIFUL Italian man. I, my friends, move to College Station, TX. . . not sure how I missed the cool boat. I guess someone has to be the one they keep around to make themselves feel cooler. That's what I'm here for, boosting the self-confidence of others! Just kidding. . . kind of!

I wish that I could post the faces I make when writing this stuff. . . it would make the reading more enjoyable for all.